A collection of news stories from around the web.- [Things not to report stolen.](http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2006/01/31/national/a173948S65.

DTL&type=bondage "Link to sfgate.com") - [Don't call us; we'll call you.](http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2006/01/26/national/a041850S19.

DTL&type=bondage "Link to sfgate.com") - Try not to sell cocaine to uniformed officers - [They said the Titantic was unsinkable, too.](http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/02/09/BAGQHH57SI1.

DTL "Link to sfgate.com") - Driving naked doesn't lead to chafing, but it does lead to a ticket.