The following article was published in the Boston Daily on Wednesday, January 11th, 2006.
CAMBRIDGEPORT [AB] - Amy S. Bogen of Lawrence St. learned today that the 1992 blue Buick Regal sedan that was the inspiration behind the 2002 pop hit "My Black Mouse" (Words and music by Diane O'Meara - former lead singer/songwriter for the group Diane LoPiccolo) has been donated to the New England Shelter for Homeless Veterans (NESHV). Bogen, the car's owner, said she was shocked and dismayed to receive a phone call from a local towing company, informing her that they would like to pick up the car sometime during the day on Thursday, January 12, 2006. In a recent interview, O'meara recalled fondly the creepy dream about the Buick that turned into a mouse, which she rode around the mountains. "Most people are confused when they hear the part of the song where the Buick's wheels become paws and I ride this new little mouse into the wilderness. But, what they don't know, is that I omitted some scenes of the dream from the final version of the song," explained O'Meara. "See, early in the dream, I meet Rick Moranis, and he shrinks me and the Buick to be in proportion with a 20g mouse. But, I didn't think that was relevant to the song. I really wanted the song to describe the transportation aspect of the dream. Plus I've never been a big fan of Rick Moranis. Someone once told me he used to date Natalie Merchant, and that John Mayer sang at his wedding. Like I would write about [Moranis] in my song! That's CRAZY."Bogen donated the car via the NESHV website on Monday night, after three failed attempts to sell the car on Craigslist - Boston. Miss Bogen only received one response from the Craigslist advertising she posted on 1/5/06, 1/6/06 and 1/9/06, and the respondent, a Slavic man from the Boston area, was only interested in a driver's door for his 1993 Buick Regal, which is a strange coincidence, considering that the only damaged door on the Lawrence St. Buick is the driver's door.
Although her Buick has been sitting motionless on Lawrence St. attracting parking tickets since mid-September, Bogen still feels a sense of loss at this sudden development. "I think of this car as part of my family. I admit I have been an absent-minded caregiver, which has resulted in the exaggerated deterioration of the Buick's body, electrical system and mechanics, but that never stopped the Buick from bouncing through Cambridge to Target, the free dryers laundromat or just across the street to avoid a street-cleaning violation and tow," Bogen commented. "This car inspired a musical masterpiece, and it breaks my heart to think it will be refurbished and sold at auction, with the proceeds to benefit homeless veterans. I mean, I don't have anything against homeless veterans, but I hope the sale price of the car is enough to buy them more than a couple of cans of soup for their food pantry. I almost wonder if it would be more helpful to donate the car as shelter, to take one of these poor veterans off the streets. Except for the leak in the windshield, it would make a fine home. The front seats fully recline and the radio still works."Bogen often fondly remembers the memories she shared with the Buick, which included a cross-country drive from Colorado to Massachusetts, transportation to the 1997 Sturgis Motorcycle Rally for pop singer Diane O'meara, Tom the Cat and herself, and numerous adventures around the Boston area, cutting off BMWs, Audis, and Mecedeseses' without a second thought.
Bogen does admit that the Buick is an unneccessary expense. In the past few months, the car has cost almost $500 for insurance and parking tickets to maintain it as an on-street storage unit. "I'm pretty sure I could rent a storage unit for less than $100 a month, but it definitely wouldn't be as convenient as the Buick, which is parked across the street from my apartment. The only drawback to the Buick storage is that the car can't be locked, so nothing valuable should be stored in it," Bogen shared, weeping. "It's hard to believe that tow-away day has finally come, after all the times the rear brakes were replaced. I just kept thinking, 'Maybe if I replace the rear brakes one more time, the car will be happy and we can work out our differences.' But sometimes relationships don't work out the way we expect." Bogen's psychiatrist, Dr. Susan Winthrop, agreed. "It will be hard for Amy to part with her car, but this is a necessary step on the road to recovery. Most of my Buick-owning patients eventually realize that the electrical system will die, the carpet will rot, the doors will stop working, and the struts will rust through. You just can't change fate. The only solution is to deal with the resulting pain."Other Lawrence St. residents feel quite differently about the Buick's departure. "That piece of sh*'s been taking up a parking space for the past 2 years. In a city where parking is tight, such as Cambridge, people don't take kindly to wasted parking spaces," commented resident Eric Grant. "Not to mention that the Buick attracts so many Indie Rockers to Lawrence St. that some residents have been forced to rent Handy House port-a-potties for their front yards. And I can tell you that no one is going to miss the greasy smoke from the tofu sausage vendors that followed the tourists when Amy moved onto our street in 2002.""I think Amy's making a smart move, getting rid of her car," agreed Attorney Bill Mahoney of 24 Lawrence St. "Once her initial grieving period ends, she'll find that she's freed from the guilt she experienced watching her vehicle rot in the street. I have a driveway, so street parking spaces aren't as valuable to me, but I can already feel a change in the attitude of Lawrence St. residents. And, rumor has it that the blonde chick that drives the Audi TT convertible leaked info to the Cambridge police about a certain rusty blue Buick on Lawrence St. that doesn't have a current motor vehicle inspection sticker. I've already seen a few of my neighbors wearing 'Stop Snitching' t-shirts, and I'd hate for the Buick to be caught in the middle of that argument."As for O'meara, she's not too worried about how the end of the Buick will impact the popularity of "My Black Mouse." "'My Black Mouse' was an instant hit that inspired a generation, and even if the Buick isn't able to remain on Lawrence St. as a monument for the song, it will always be remembered as the inspiration that inspired the inspiration for a generation. Not to mention all of the spin-off hits that followed 'My Black Mouse,' like 'Walls of Webs' and 'My Wet Dolphin.'" O'Meara is scheduled to perform "My Black Mouse" this Saturday at the Hall of Mormons in Salt Lake City, UT where she is a PA student at the UU. Although the Hall of Mormons does not serve alcoholic beverages, O'meara insists that she no longer needs a buzz to perform for strangers. "Ever since my marriage to Seinfeld's architect Geoff O'Meara, I've felt confident performing sober in public, and it's not because the Mormons don't serve liquor. Being married to Seinfeld's architect has been a life-altering experience. Did you know that Jerry and Jessica each have their own bathroom?"Bogen adds, "I have had the pleasure of owning and driving a national Indie Rocker icon while being close friends with Seinfeld's architect's wife. Anyone who can't see through the Buick's body rot, dents and flat tires to the rusted core of the transmission or the ripped upholstery of the driver's seat, well, I just feel sorry for those people. Tonight I'll be emptying my on-street storage unit, and tomorrow morning, I'll open the back door, reach around the front seat to the driver's door handle and push open the driver's door from the inside, so I can leave the key and the title on the front seat. Then, I'll probably drink a Nespresso and walk to the bus stop." She doesn't plan to leave the lyrics of "My Black Mouse" in the Buick's glove compartment. "My week as an Indie Rocker was over 3 years ago," says Bogen. "How much longer do I have to pretend that I give a sht about Ryan Adams?"So ends a legend.