With the arrival of winter weather in the Midwest, it might be time to haveyour vehicle retrofitted with my new invention, the TSO Braking System.
No doubt you have seen the people for whom I invented the TSO Braking System. These are the folks who careen down slippery, sloppy city streets with noregard for what might happen if they were to use their brakes in areasonably urgent manner. They drive all models of vehicle from big tosmall from all manner or corporations. If they possess one common thread,it is their inability to grasp the idea that possession of the ability tomove forward does not also grant one the ability to stop quickly orsuddenly. The TSO Braking system is designed to quickly halt a fast moving vehiclein all conditions, rain, snow, or shine. It can be quickly installed on allvehicles by any auto mechanic, Boy Scout, or anyone else familiar with tyingknots. It will long outlast the rest of the car or truck to which it isattached. The high-quality parts that comprise the TSO Braking System canbe quickly and easily obtained in all parts of the world,
TSO, for the curious among us, stands for Throw Something Overboard. Imagine a vehicle speeding down a snow-covered street. A sudden need tostop presents itself. A button is pressed on the dash. From the bottom,rear, or top of the vehicle a device reminiscent of a traditional anchorsprings forth and embeds itself in Terra firma. A heavy steel cableconnecting the anchor to the vehicle springs taut, and the speeding vehicleis safely arrested before impact.
Buy your TSO Braking System today and stop worrying about winterroads!
The above was inspired by seeing so many people speeding around townin otherwise horrible driving conditions. I decided that their plan foremergency braking must be to throw something heavy overboard and hope itslows them down in time to avoid loss of life or limb.