There are very few things I enjoy more than reading the reviews of truly awful movies. Sure, I’ll most likely never see the movies in questions, but I sure get a kick out of reading the reviews.
The beauty of bad movie reviews is that the critics don’t feel bound by the traditional movie review framework. After all, if a movie is among the worst ever, does each part of its awfulness require in-depth examination? Instead, they let fly with all sorts of cutting commentary liberally dotted with words obviously dredged from the depths of the thesaurus. So, without further ado, allow me to present just a few of the reviews The Dukes of Hazzard.> There are routine movies and others that blaze a trail. There are routine bad movies and others so horrendous that they redefine bad, that make us look up synonyms for agonizing and abysmal and then gnash our teeth because the language has not kept pace with the decline of film….
Three back-to-back chases form the climax. They’re excruciating. The comedy is nonexistent. The filmmakers couldn’t buy a laugh in a burning poppy field. The movie is only 97 minutes long, but it makes time stretch, so that it’s impossible to feel comfortable in one sitting position for more than five minutes.[– Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle Movie Critic](http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/08/05/DDGVDE2EL31.
DTL&type=movies “Complete SF Chronicle Review”)> At one point, the film’s narrator says, “If you have to go to the bathroom, now would be the wrong time.” I beg to differ. There is no wrong time to flush this turd.[– Peter Travers, Rolling Stone Movie Critic](http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/movie/_/id/6823644?pageid=rs.
ReviewsMovieArchive&pageregion=mainRegion “Complete Rolling Stone Review”)> Since it is not possible to endure The Dukes of Hazzard without finding some other task to occupy one’s mind (straight viewing could result in brain damage), I passed the time by re-constructing what might have been the pitch meeting in which Warner Brothers executives green-lighted this project. This is reproduced here in lieu of a review (which would amount to a lot of negative adjectives strung together with phrases like “one of the worst movies of the year” and “makes The Devil’s Rejects look a lot more appealing”).– James Berardinelli, ReelViews Movie Critic> Now moving to the head of the line is The Dukes of Hazzard, a redo of a hit show that was already so awful the filmmakers really had to try hard to do it one worse; that they succeeded, perhaps, is how they justify their paychecks, because one really must put substantial effort into making movies this willfully and unbearably awful.– Robert Wilonsky, Dallas Observer Movie Critic