bogen.org

Both Sarah and I have been busy the last couple of weeks.Sarah had a very hectic finish to her semester this fall. One of her classes was an absolute bear. She worked on this one class somewhere in the range of forty to fifty hours during the final week of the semester and she was still unable to finish the work assigned by the professor. The big problem is that the professor assigned them a huge project at the beginning of the semester but didn’t give them all the tools (read: knowledge) to complete the assignment until two weeks were left in the semester. So, even those who were proactive about starting the project early (like Sarah) could only get so much done before they ran out of knowledge. Then, they had to wait for the professor to teach them more so that they could take the next steps in the process. All in all, it was a really dumb way of structuring the class.

So, Sarah ended up with an incomplete in that class until she gets the project completed. While nearly everyone else is off on their Christmas break, Sarah was working today trying to finish the project for the class. She is not alone, however. Just about half the class took incompletes while the remainder just threw up their hands and took whatever grades they earned without finishing the project.

In late November, we purchased a gas cooktop from Sears to replace the forty-four year old electric cooktop that was in our house when we bought it. The biggest problem with the cooktop is that, at some point in the past, a prior owner of the house replaced two of the four burners with burners that were close but not quite replacements. So, we had two good burners, one that never sat level and always tilted the pan sitting on it, and another that was just ever so much larger than it should have been.

The new cooktop is gas, which both of us prefer for cooking. I didn’t feel comfortable running gas piping, so we brought in a plumber to do the work. The plumbing work ended up costing more than the gas cooktop did. The first estimate we got was so high, that we were afraid the guy was trying to rip us off, so we went out and got another estimate. That estimate just just about as high, so we bit the bullet and went forward.

What made me feel really dumb is that we brought in an electrician to do the electrical work. The gas cooktop uses electrical sparks to light the gas when a burner is activated. My thought was that a circuit would need to come out of the main electrical panel to the cooktop to power the sparking electrodes. Of course, that was a big error. The amount of electricity needed to spark the gas is a negligible amount that can be drawn off of nearly any other 120V circuit in the house. Once I heard what the electrician planned on doing, I just about slapped my forehead in disbelief. “I could do that!” was the thought coursing through my mind as I watched him work. However, my guess was that we would be charged anyway for the guy showing up, even if I kicked him out before he could do any work, so it made sense to let him continue. If we got charged one hour for the guy to show up, tell me what to do, and leave or one hour for the guy to show up and do the work, I might as well let the professional do his thing.

While the plumbers were putting in the gas piping, Sarah and got busy trying to remove the old electric cooktop. The old cooktop was stuck to the laminate counter with some old caulk and forty years of grease and grime; the cooktop did not come up easily. As a result, the laminate countertop suffered some damage. In addition, once we got the new cooktop in place, it was just ever so slightly smaller in width than the old cooktop. So, now we have to figure out a way to both fix or cover the countertop damage while fixing or covering the gap on either side of the gas cooktop. Right now, we’re leaning towards moving the cooktop all the way to one side, and installing a butcher block cutting board directly into/onto the counter. This will effectively fix/cover both problems.

Once the cooktop was installed, we discovered that one of the burners did not light, so we called a technician out from Sears to fix the problem. He diagnosed that the problem was with some of the parts we were shipped with the cooktop. He ordered some replacement parts and went on his way. When the parts arrived at our house, we installed them (they were very, very, very easy to install) and tried the burner. The burner lit right up. However, the parts were different colors from the rest of the cooktop. So, I spent over thirty minutes on the telephone yesterday with Sears trying to get them to ship us the correct parts in the correct color. In the process, I spoke with no less than six different people and was twice transferred to some anonymous office that was closed. Nice. If we cannot get the right part in the right color soon, I’ll just place another service call saying that the burner won’t light. When the technician comes out to fix the problem (again), I’ll just have him order the correct part in the correct color. That will cost Sears a ton of money, but if their telephone agents are morons, that’s the price they’ll have to pay.

In addition, I’ve been busy rewiring the basement. The electrical work down there is a mess. So, I’ve been installing outlets where they are needed and fixing others, as necessary. All of the lights down there were activated by pull-chains, so I’ve also been replacing the pull chains with light switches, which makes everything look much nicer.

At some point in the past, a few cheap fluorescent fixtures were installed in the basement to provide light. These were powered by a series of adapters and extension cords that plugged in to the cheap, ceramic, pull chain light sockets. So, I’m replacing the whole mess with properly wired sockets and light switches. The work isn’t done, but it is proceding nicely.

Last week, I also discovered that bathroom vent fan was never properly vented to the outdoors. As such, all the hot, humid air that was being pulled from the bathroom by the fan was being dumped into the space above the soffits without any sort of venting. So, I had to cut a new hole in the soffit and install some additional ducting on the old bathroom fan ducting so that the fan now blows air from the bathroom out the new hole in the soffits. Now we can see that the bathroom air is being properly vented on really cold days. When the hot humid air vented from the bathroom hits the cold outdoor air, we can see plenty of condensation and fog forming.

Sarah and I baked up a storm before Christmas. We made peppermint swirl cookies, cutout cookies, gingerbread cutout cookies, and almond bark pretzels. I’m only being honest when I say that all of them turned out quite well.

For Christmas, Sarah, Dalla, and I traveled to South Dakota to visit my parents. My sister flew out from Boston to join the clan on Christmas day. We did all of the traditional family stuff, but we also went geocaching around my hometown on Sunday. It was cold, but fun, as we found three out of four caches that day.

Ira, so far, has managed to avoid his seasonal trip into the refridgerator. I’m hoping to get him started with hibernation in the next day or so. Then, he’ll be in one of our crisper drawers for the better part of two months.

Bruce Schneier’s book Beyond Fear should be on everyone’s reading list for 2005 if you have not already been enlightened by it.Most common analyses of security in the United States structure themselves around two key questions:

1. Will the security measures being contemplated “keep us safe?”
2. Will the security measures being contemplated “keep us safe?”

Ironically enough, the answer to either of those questions (and yes, I know they are actually the same question) doesn’t even have to be yes. Take the USA PATRIOT Act, for instance. Are we measureably safer because the FBI can examine our library records without our knowledge? Has such a measure been proven to reduce the terrorist threat? Have terrorists been caught and punished because their library records were examined?

Of course not. The FBI always had the power to examine library records. It just needed a subpoena to do so. Now, however, they can saunter on down the library any old time they want and examine the records of whomever they choose. In addition, those pesky librarians must keep their mouths shut (by law) about FBI activities. The net effect of losing the privacy of our library records is that the cost of terrorism went up nearly imperceptibly. Now, instead of checking out books at the library and keeping them for four weeks, terrorists will be forced to buy new and used books and keep them indefinitely. I’m sure Osama is shaking in his sandals.

Bruce Schneier has been known for years in computer security and cryptography circles. Now, he has given us a remarkably well written and accessible tome about security in general.

In Beyond Fear, Schneier provides remarkably lucid analysis of security problems and solutions. He breaks down what security really means to various people and how it can be (hopefully) obtained in a clear and structured manner.

For instance, he analyzes the various countermeasures taken by homeowners to prevent burglary. Some measures (door locks and window bars, for instance) are cheap, widely available, and effective. Others (alarm systems, surveillance cameras, and armed guards) are expensive and offer very little to the average homeowner. Some measures (putting a minefield in your yard) are effective but illegal. At some point, nearly everyone makes decisions about the security of their home. I know people who do not lock their home during the day while they are at work because they live in a town where burglaries are very uncommon. For those individuals, the hassle of a locked door is worse for them than the fear someone will break into their home. By comparison, I prefer to lock my doors when I leave home though I am in no way considering putting bars on my windows.

In addition to general security, Schneier carefully dissects commercial aviation security:

The current airline security process isn’t perfect. Because the government has removed the responsibility of security from the airlines, the airlines have a different agenda. Their goal is not to do the best security job possible, but rather to do the cheapest job that follows the letter of whatever government regulations they are required to follow.

security against terrorism:

Here’s the bottom line when you realistically and unemotionally assess the risk to your personal security of a terrorist attack: If you don’t live in a major coastal metropolitan city or next to a nuclear power plant or chemical factory, you’re more likely to die of a bee sting than a terrorist attack. Even if you do live in a big city or next door to a power plant, the odds of being a terrorist victim are still vanishingly small. Any precautions you take should be directed toward and in proportion to those risks.

security against cyberterrorism:

But imagine for a minute the leadership of Al Qaeda sitting in a cave somewhere, plotting the next move in their jihad against the U.S. one of the leaders jumps up and exclaims: “I have an idea! We’ll disable their e-mail….”

and even security as practiced by members of the animal kingdom:

A rabbit’s primary defense is running away. It’s a fine defense, a useful countermeasure that almost everyone has used at one time or another. But it only works, of course, if you can outrun your attackers–by being faster, by being able to run longer, or by being clever about losing your pursuers….Most herbivores tend to win on distance, which is why carnivores spend so much effort trying to sneak up close to their prey.

Clearly, the book is wide ranging. And, while Schneier condemns policies and procedures created by the current Administration, he really has no partisan axes to grind in this book. He couldn’t care less about who implemented useless security; he just cares that the security was both useless and expensive. The book’s agenda is not to bash one person, party, or government agency; the book’s agenda is to make people think about security in a deeper and more meaningful way.

For instance, since reading the book, I’ve come to realize that my local video rental store has a fundamental security problem. They want to both identify customers (to make sure that we’re who we say we are) and authorize customers (to make sure that we’re allowed to rent movies). Towards that end, they require some form of picture ID when an account is created (identification). Once the account is created, a card is given to the customer as a form of authorization.

Once that card is handed out, customers can use it check out movies without proving their identity again. So, if I lost my card and it was recovered by someone else, they could rent (steal) movies in my name and the video store would be none the wiser. In other words, using this procedure they can authorize people but not identify them.

However, if a customer attempts to rent a movie without their card, the clerks request a photo id from the customer. The photo on the ID is checked against the person standing across from the clerk while the name on the ID is then checked against the computer record to authorize the customer. This method is significantly more secure. The authorization token is the computer record which cannot be carted around and lost by customers. In addition, identification is nearly almost always positive since the picture on an ID can be checked against the customer standing there. Of course, one could provide a fake ID, but who is going to fake an ID in my name just to steal a few videos from Video Station?

The local video store obviously did some security calculations in another part of their business, however. There used to be just two checkout locations on one side of a square front counter. Customers paid for videos and then were handed the videos on the other side of an anti-shoplifting device.

In recent months, the anti-shoplifting device has gone away and customers can now pay for their videos on two sides of the square counter. This doubled the number of possible checkout lanes from two to four. Clearly, the store determined that it was more important to their bottom line to limit the amount of time customers spent in line than it was to guard against some relatively small amount of shoplifting.

Everyone should read this book. With security policies and procedures becoming more commonplace all the time, the United States has a vested interest in having an informed citizenry that can intelligently think about and debate security policies, procedures, risks, and trade-offs. Beyond Fear is a truly interesting and accessible starting point towards that end.

Melinda’s Original Habanero Extra Hot Pepper Sauce has earned itself a permanent place on my “Top Ten Hot Pepper Sauce Frauds” list.

The only heat this sauce generated was the steam that came out of my ears when I realized what a colossal fraud this sauce is. I picked up this bottle at the store on Tuesday night. I’m writing this shortly after lunch on Thursday and the bottle is already half gone. No true habanero sauce should go so quickly. Tabasco sauce is hotter than this garbage.

Costa Rica should be ashamed to turn out such lame hot pepper sauce. Hell, any Midwestern state (where foods generally run the gamut between bland and tasteless) would be ashamed to turn out such a terrible product.

For some reason, Baseballissimo, by Dave Bidini, seems to be a book that people either love or hate. And yet, very few people seem to have read it.Perhaps the biggest reason that very few people have read it is that the book is available in very few libraries. The copy I read came via interlibrary loan from a library in San Mateo, California.

Most of the book reviews online are reasonably polarized. Some critics hate the book while others praise it as one of the best sports books of 2004.

While I didn’t love the book, it certainly was worth the effort to fill out forms at the library to get it. Bidini has a liquid, flowing writing style that blends humor and insight well. The humor in the book is generally subtle, but sprinkled throughout quite well.

If you are not terribly familiar with the game of baseball, you might not enjoy this book as much as someone who lives and breathes the game will. Bidini is a name dropper, but not as though he has met everyone whose name he drops. Rather he drops names as a form of shorthand for various physical or mental traits.

I also found that there if one looked beneath the clever prose and sporting surroundings, one could find real human emotions suffused throughout the book. From the attitudes and actions of those players stuck riding the pine, to those of fireball pitchers and hot shot young outfielders, nearly all types of people can be found somewhere in this book.

Today, I called a US airline because one of their automated systems called to tell me that a trip I had planned on their airline had been changed.

You can only imagine my delight when I discovered that the airline in question had helpfully installed yet another voice recognition system to handle much of their call center chores.In the interest of full disclosure, let me start by saying that I hate automated telephone systems. In fact, if I could find a stronger word than hate, I would use it. I suppose I could string together a series of words to more accurately express my feelings, but since at least twelve of those words would be expletives, I’ll leave that as a mental exercise for the reader.

There is nothing worse than calling a company to accomplish some relatively well defined task and finding yourself ear to processor with a voice recognition telephone system (known as a “speech enabled telephone system” in the biz). Speech enabled telephone systems never work correctly. Amtrak’s, for instance, is funny if you don’t need it to do anything for you, but frustrating as hell if you need information from it.

The problems with speech enabled telephone systems (SETS, hereafter) are numerous.

SETS require you to speak in a manner that is wholely unlike regular conversation. You can always tell when someone other unfortunate has encountered a SETS:

• They start speaking various bits of information as incantations into the handset with no surrounding context.
• Their voice attempts to lose all inflection (since we all know how crappy SETS technology really is and how poorly it handles dialects and accents).
• Frustration immediately creeps into their voice. I’d love to put a voice stress analyzer on someone dialing up a SETS-saddled number. I’d wager money that nearly 99% of people experience increased stress when dealing with a SETS.

One selling point of SETS technology is that it supposedly makes it more “natural” for people to get information out of a system. After all, people talk all the time, so why not let them talk to a computer to get information out of the computer?

Unfortunately, speaking to computers is not easy for people to do, primarily because computers simply are not smart enough to process human languages. The interface glue, in lazy technical terms, between the human brain and the computer processor is the English language. The English language, as any foreigner will tell you, is incredibly complex.

In English, words can have multiple meanings and pronunciations depending on context. The human brain is incredibly skilled at taking a spoken sentence and deriving meaning from it without the need to first translate that sentence into text. However, computers need to translate spoken words into text that can then be lexically analyzed. From that analysis, some sort of meaning can then be derived.

If context is anything but crystal clear, computers have no choice but to make a computerized version of the WAG (Wild Assed Guess). If I say, “He’s wrapping it up right now,” humans can guess my meaning from the context in which the sentence is spoken. Computers have a much harder time than that. Their ability to judge context is so poor at this point, that attempts to judge meaning from context is more often than not going to lead the computer astray. So, the computer is left analyzing the sentence at hand without considering what has gone before it. The computer might have a hard time deciding if I meant that he is “rapping it up” (as in rhythmic vocal speaking), or if he is “wrapping it up” (as in finishing up some discrete task), or if he is “wrapping it up” (as in surrounding an object with some sort of decorative or protective packaging).

English, like all languages, also overflows with idioms. If parsing meaning from a sentence without a firm grasp of context is hard, deciphering idioms can be impossible. Even humans, with their innate grasp of language and decades of practice can be tripped up by idioms.

When I used to tutor a Korean fellow in California, he was constantly being tripped up by even the most common idioms. The guy was really smart and he was working hard to learn the language, but idioms were still far, far beyond his grasp. I noticed that even though I constantly made conscious attempts to simplify my speech around him, idioms still littered my sentences. Even really common idioms that I expected a guy in his young 20′s to encounter (“What’s Up?” for example) were completely outside of his experience.

How on earth can a computer that can hardly understand simple two-word responses or spoken letters hope to understand idioms? And, if the system cannot understand idioms, can it really be that speech enabled?

Of course not. People using speech enabled systems don’t have natural conversations with the system; they have stilted one-way question and answer sessions in which the humans attempt to modify their voice and inflections enough to satisfy the computer’s limited pattern recognition technologies.

Is that helping people? Is that making their lives easier? Do you really want the face of your company to be a brainless SETS that cannot understand simple sentences like “I changed my mind about going to Florida.”? Is that the first impression of your call center that people should get? A system that has trouble understanding clearly spoken letters and numbers?

Today, for instance, I called the airline, and immediately gritted my teeth when I recognized that a damn SETS had been installed.

The system started by asking for my frequent flyer number, which I didn’t have handy. I didn’t have that number handy because no human agent has ever started the conversation by asking for my frequent flyer number. So, right off the bat, the SETS was violating the human expectation of how a call should proceed. The process of reforming human behavior to fit machine needs had begun.

When I had to take, literally, less than twelve seconds to find it, the system responded to my silence by explaining that it could not find my number, would I please restate it? By this time, I had the number, so I spoke it into the telephone, slowly and clearly.

The system could not understand the digits I spoke into the telephone, so it prompted me to speak them again. (And how is this easier than pushing the buttons on the telephone, considering that my frequent flyer number consists entirely of digits?) So, I spoke the numbers again, even more slowly and clearly this time.

The computer gods took pity on me, found my record, and handed it to the SETS. Now, the SETS asked for my itinerary confirmation number. I spoke the six letter code slowly and clearly. I said, “L…R…G…M…8…Q.”

The computer responded, “Did you say ‘L…B…X…X…3…G’?”

No, you lousy piece of leperous water buffalo sphincter, I did not say that. So, I said my confirmation number once again, slowly and clearly. The system then responded with another equally, horribly incorrect number. I tried speaking the confirmation number three more times and three more times the computer asked if I had spoken a completely different number.

At this point, I reverted to my usual plan of attack when faced with a SETS: get to a human by any means necessary. So, I trotted out my dictionary of possible terms to short-circuit the damn computer, “Agent. Operator. Human.” I tried the terms in sequence over and over, regardless of the computer’s prompts until it finally said, “I think you want to speak to an agent. Is that correct?”

“Yes,” I practically screamed into the handset.

Once I reached an agent, the business end of the call took very little time.

Before I hung up with the agent, I asked her if she finds that customers are more frustrated when they reach her because of the new automated system. She laughed and said, “Actually, they are really nice because they are so relieved to finally reach a human.”

She explained that the new system was supposed to “help” the humans in the call center and to be a “tool” for them to use. By the tone in her voice (something else a computer could never hope to comprehend), I understood that she was clearly telling me how management had pitched the system to the call center staff it was designed to replace. Her tone also revealed that she didn’t believe a word of it.

The agent’s experience had been that, in general, most people did not get the information or help they needed from the SETS and that humans generally helped and understood the needs of humans much better than the computer. Of course, she is a biased source since her job would be one of the first to go if SETS technology were to actually be worth a bucket of warm chicken entrails. However, given my experience with SETS, and my general technological bent, I am inclined to believe she was telling the truth.

Newsweek’s 20 Dec 2004 issue contains an article about the current shortage of armor for troops in Iraq. An exploration of why an armor shortage exists, the article says:

Other Army officers complain that the nation does not have the industrial base any longer to produce equipment for a new kind of war.That sort of statement really rubs me the wrong way.

In Wisconsin alone, there are thousands of recently unemployed workers that previously were employed in metal fabrication industries. When the work those folks previously did was moved abroad, the factories were shutdown and the workers laid off. Of course, none of the buildings have been torn down yet, and most of the workers still retain their skills. To restart those factories wouldn’t require much more than a government contract (to reassure investors) and someone willing to make money by restarting the factories, rehiring workers, and replacing any worn or missing equipment.

In Wisconsin, Michigan, and Ohio there must be hundreds of thousands of people who previously were employed in metal fabrication industries. In Cleveland alone there must be three or four steel foundaries sitting idle, just waiting for a reason to start functioning again.

And what sort of equipment do they think we need to fight this “new war” that the American industrial base cannot produce? Tanks? No, not really. Bombs? Boeing makes those by the truckload. Planes? Only wearing out, not really being shot down. Trucks? Oshkosh Truck Corporation makes those. Armor? Apparently not, since they seemingly gave up on ordering that.

Where does the Army get nearly 100% of its equipment already? The American industrial base. The same industrial base that the Army now says it cannot trust. Weapon systems are almost exclusively designed and produced under contract to the Armed Services by American companies. To turn around and proclaim that American companies cannot meet the needs of the Army sounds more than a bit specious.

Even more insulting is the implication that American “know how” went missing sometime in the last twenty years. When World War II was in full swing, did the Armed Forces sit back and say, “Damn! Those German tanks really kick ass! We better not even try to make tanks.”

Of course not. Americans decided that if they couldn’t make tanks as individually powerful as German tanks, we would make tanks that would overwhelm the Germans by force of numbers. The American industrial base then produced those tanks at a rate that Germany could never, ever hope to match.

Did the country lose that drive, that desire, that creativity sometime in the last year or so? After all, the US is the country that invented the Internet, the PC, HDTV, stock options, and innumerable other modern marvels. Does the Army brass think we can no longer manage to put together some lousy armor plate? How insulting is that?

Comments like the one above make me wonder just how much the Army brass and the Adminstration are covering their asses and just how many people have died in Iraq (both American and Iraqi) to further that goal.

Last night, we went out to a movie for the first time in a long time. I had been dying to see the The Incredibles and was amenable to that choice so off we went.Of late, I’ve taken to writing one-line reviews of movies we see. Generally, I believe that people are not interested in reading long-winded reviews of movies. Most people have a reasonably strong opinion about what kinds of movies they like to see. To overcome that opinion is not easy and, in some cases, no amount of positive word-of-mouth or critical reviews is going to convince someone to see a particular flick.

That’s fair. I’m not terribly crazy about seeing any movie that has Sissy Spacek in it and no amount of positive word-of-mouth or cajoling on Sarah’s part is likely to change my mind.

Having said that, I strongly encourage anyone who can get over the fact that the Incredibles is animated to see the movie.

Beyond the funny “life as a superhero” sight gags and jokes, the movie contains some real thought about personal and social issues. It would not be reading too much into the movie to see clear signs of an exploration of the separation of work and family life. Nor would I feel out-of-bounds writing that the movie displays how it can be difficult to balance personal desires with the needs of close family members.

In addition, there are some very clear and deep homages made to preceding films. Even casual moviegoers should see reverence displayed for the forest speeder chase through the Ewok forest in Return of the Jedi as well as the sand speeder race in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. “The Incredibles” just drips with obvious James Bond references, including one scene where the soundtrack is nearly a note-for-note copy of the signature James Bond theme.

I could go on and one about the movie, but inevitably I would likely write a spoiler or two and that would ruin the movie for those who have not yet seen it.

If you have seen “The Incredibles” already, you know that you want to see it again. If you have not been so blessed as to sit in a darkened theater with this film showing on the big screen in front of you, I cannot encourage you enough to hie to the nearest theater and avail yourself of two hours of film majesty.

If your Christmas spirit is chased away by playlists consisting entirely of the same old Christmas carols played in the same order and sung by the same performers, SomaFM has something that will reinvigorate your Christmas spirit.

Check out SomaFM’s “XMas In Frisco” stream for a wider variety of serious and lighthearted Christmas audio wallpaper. Some of the song titles you might hear:

• “Holy Shit, It’s Christmas” by Red Peters
• “Merry Muthaphuckin’ X-mas” by Eazy-E
• “Merry Christmas” by The Ramones
• “Have Yourself A Merry little Christmas” by Judy Garland
• “The 12 Gay Days Of Christmas” by Go
• “Ay, Ay, Ay It’s Christmas” by Ricky Martin
• “12 Drugs of Christmas” by Afroman

Sarah and I kept ourselves busy the past few days with a variety of chores and fun activities.Thursday night, Sarah’s office Christmas party was held at one of the local bars. The food at that particular bar is nothing special, but the beer is brewed on-site and decent, so we had at least one thing to look forward to. In addition, many of Sarah’s co-workers are interesting people which led to some interesting dinner table conversation.

On the way to the pub, we drove by a place named “Yes Buffet.” My immediate thought was to open up a restaurant named “No Buffet” right next door. No Buffet would have a stricly ala carte menu with absolutely…No Buffet.

Friday and Saturday night, we saw the UW Badgers men’s hockey team beat the team from the University of Minnesota-Duluth. We both enjoy the hockey games, and we enjoy them even more when the Badgers win.

Saturday morning, we drove over to the UW Stock Pavilion to buy a Christmas Tree. We bought a seven foot Fraser fir tree for our living room.

In afternoon while Sarah studied, I did some electrical work in the basement. All of the lights were pull chain lights, which is both ugly and inconvenient. So, I replaced a pair of the pull chain light with lights that are activated by light-switches. In addition, I rewired some things that were badly/incorrectly wired.

In the latter part of the afternoon, Sarah and I decorated the Christmas tree together. It had been three years since we decorated a big, real tree. The past couple of years we’ve either had no tree, or just a little artificial tree. The tree we bought looks really nice in a corner of the living room. If I had a digital camera, I’d post a picture here for people to see. As it is, you’ll just have to take my word for it.

This morning, we spent some time geocaching before breakfast. We looked for one micro cache for quite some time but never did find it. After trying for a while, we decided to give it a rest and try to find a different cache. That cache gave us much less trouble and we were successful finding it. At least we didn’t go home completely empty handed.

While Sarah was at school working in one of the labs, Dalla and I went for a walk to one of the local parks. We took in the view from a high-point, and walked home.

What is it going to take to rid myself of the Sierra Club and its minions?!?Several years ago, I made the unfortunate error of becoming a Sierra Club member. Generally, I agree with their projects and environmental outlook. However, much like the Eagles “Hotel California”, you can stop renewing your membership any time you like, but you can never leave.

During the weeks leading up to the November 2nd General Election, the Sierra Club called our house, no exaggeration, nineteen times. That’s nineteen times that we actually answered the telephone. If they started calling us and we didn’t answer, they called every fscking hour until we did answer. If that is not some form of harassment, I’m not sure what qualifies.

In addition to calling us ceaselessly, the Club helpfully added my e-mail address to multiple e-mail lists without first asking me if that was okay. Naturally enough, I am having trouble getting myself off of the e-mail lists. The club is decentralized much like any other outfit engaged in clandestine or subversive activities. It operates with a fair amount of autonomy with each local cell running its own servers, activities and the like. So, getting your name off of one list in one local cell does nothing to get your name off another list maintained by a completely separate local cell.

It goes without saying that we get torrents of junk mail from the Sierra Club, as well.

Some online sources report that a full quarter of the club’s membership rolls turnover every year. Given the Club’s overly aggressive money-grubbing tactics, such turnover is not surprising. People get tired of being constantly pestered with requests for more money, more money, more money. It would be like having a Salvation Army bell ringer in your bedroom.

It will be a very long time before I even consider joining the Sierra Club again. Such overly agressive hounding of former members does not deserve to be rewarded.

It always seemed ironic to me that the telephone company’s primary method of receiving outage information from its customers was a telephone number. So, if your telephone doesn’t work, the telephone company wants you to call them and tell them about it.And, when you do call them to report that your telephone is non-functional, they always ask, “Are you calling us from the number you are reporting as down?”

In that spirit, I love this disclaimer that I found on a web site today:

The Internet is a global network that is not maintained by any one entity. Therefore, it is quite possible to experience outages and delays. Please be aware that if this site is unavailable, there could be outages between you and this site beyond our control.

So, if I cannot reach the web site in question, how can I read the disclaimer at the bottom of the screen to learn that the problem at hand is not caused by the company whose web site I cannot reach?

incubate my garden
rip arm from leg and scream

manipulate these puppies together
sleep smell swim run
summer symphony

use bitterly after gift

bare feet chain dream lust

my chocolate apparatus behind me

will you top love

recall the enormous moment
repulsive frantic essential

woman drools
sausage has spray lather

sweat is beauty
though blood pounds like rain