To pass time on our trip to Nashville, Sarah and I listened to Valhalla Rising by Clive Cussler. We checked out the book on CD from our local library.

Neither of us was aware of the series’ particular features:- Corny dialogue

  • Characters that are caricatures
  • Repeated miraculous escapes
  • Character after character that is described as “retired special forces” or “former special forces” even if said characters are doing nothing more than acting as security guards without a thought in their heads or a tiny hint of autonomy

We just thought the book was going to be a standard issue thriller. So, we got plenty of laughs at the book, its plot, and its characters. When Cussler wrote himself into the book (as the wealthy owner of a stealthly private super yacht who is only too happy to engage in black ops with people he just pulled from the ocean just hours previously but with whom he had no previous acquiantance) the book jumped the proverbial shark.

Please, please, please do not waste your life reading or listening to this trash. I’ve got nothing against trashy novels of all types. However, this book is a bad trashy novel. For those, there is no excuse.