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As we discussed the supposedly big news that Tariq Aziz had been captured in Iraq, Sarah said, "That’s like capturing Ari Fleischer." I hadn't thought about it, but she was right.  Tariq and Ari both are members of Mouthpieces of Evil, Local 775 but do they have any real value as political prisoners?

If you missed it, Chritine Todd Whitman has EPA enforcement agents driving her around.  It seems that the EPA (read: Whitman) feels thereis a better than average chance that terrorists will strike at the heart of imperialist America by killing the woman charged with pretending to enforce environmental laws by the Bush administration.  Of course, Whitman has had the enforcement agents (who make over $100K per year) performing other tasks than just driving her around.  Agents have been sent to restaurants to sit at a table and hold her reservation until she arrives.  Agents have been charged with returning her husband’s rental cars.  These are the same agents who are supposed to be investigating environmental crimes.  So, not only does Whitman make herself feel important by wasting the time of these agents, but she also reduces the amount of time that agents can be investigating environmental criminals (read: Bush administration supporters like oil companies, power generation facilities, and the like).

We had gorgeous weather this weekend with sunny skies, temperatures in the low seventies and gentle breezes.  We managed to complete great deal of work this weekend around the house, but we still managed to work in time for a nice like bicycle ride today and a chili cook-off yesterday.

Seen in the Wisconsin State Journal yesterday on page D2:  the supposed word "dockumentary."  Is this a non-fiction movie or television show about marinas, yahts or the container ship business?  Using a word like that is just plain lazy.  Any spell check in the world would find it and correct it.

Most events that feature a well-known public speaker also include a question and answer session after the speaker is done making their speech.  What is the mental malfunction that causes otherwise normal people to confuse Q&A with C (Comment)?  Last night, Ira Glass, the host of This American Life, gave a speech at the University.  Glass' speech was informative, occasionally insightful, and completely entertaining.  After he was done, there was a brief Q&A period.  However, as always happens at an event like that, several people, who were apparently overcome by challenge of forming a question, decided to stand up and give their comments.  This behavior always leads me to ask several questions:

1. When someone stands up and says, "I agree with everything you just said," is the Comment Maker so full of himself or herself that they believe the rest of us are withholding judgment on the speaker and their speech until we have gotten Comment Maker's opinion on the matter?  Like I'm sitting there thinking, "Well, I was on the fence about what he said until that Comment Maker got up and lent credence to their speech, but now I'm fully in the speaker's camp."
2. Why do so few speakers call Comment Makers on the fact that they are not asking questions, but rather offering opinions?  Some do, most do not.
3. Why does this behavior not annoy more people than it seems to?

Has anyone else noticed that the phrase "mother of all …" has completely permeated American speech?  In the last four days, I've heard that phrase with various endings used completely unconsciously no less than once a day in casual conversation.  Last night, Sarah used some form of it on the way to the Ira Glass speech.  Someone used a "mother of all desserts" form over Easter dinner.  On Friday last week, someone with whom I work used the "mother of all questions" format.  Isn't it ironic that America went to wipe out Saddam Hussein in "Gulf War II:  Shrub's Revenge" but a quote of Hussein's from before the first Gulf War has become a commonly used part of everyday American English?  Don't let anyone ever tell you that language means nothing and that people cannot live on through their words long after the speaker is dead and gone.

Most events that feature a well-known public speaker also include a question and answer session after the speaker is done making their speech.  What is the mental malfunction that causes otherwise normal people to confuse Q&A with C (Comment)?  Last night, Ira Glass, the host of This American Life, gave a speech at the University.  Glass' speech was informative, occasionally insightful, and completely entertaining.  After he was done, there was a brief Q&A period.  However, as always happens at an event like that, several people, who were apparently overcome by challenge of forming a question, decided to stand up and give their comments.  This behavior always leads me to ask several questions:

1. When someone stands up and says, "I agree with everything you just said," is the Comment Maker so full of himself or herself that they believe the rest of us are withholding judgment on the speaker and their speech until we have gotten Comment Maker's opinion on the matter?  Like I'm sitting there thinking, "Well, I was on the fence about what he said until that Comment Maker got up and lent credence to their speech, but now I'm fully in the speaker's camp."
2. Why do so few speakers call Comment Makers on the fact that they are not asking questions, but rather offering opinions?  Some do, most do not.
3. Why does this behavior not annoy more people than it seems to?

Has anyone else noticed that the phrase "mother of all …" has completely permeated American speech?  In the last four days, I've heard that phrase with various endings used completely unconsciously no less than once a day in casual conversation.  Last night, Sarah used some form of it on the way to the Ira Glass speech.  Someone used a "mother of all desserts" form over Easter dinner.  On Friday last week, someone with whom I work used the "mother of all questions" format.  Isn't it ironic that America went to wipe out Saddam Hussein in "Gulf War II:  Shrub's Revenge" but a quote of Hussein's from before the first Gulf War has become a commonly used part of everyday American English?  Don't let anyone ever tell you that language means nothing and that people cannot live on through their words long after the speaker is dead and gone.
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A sentence from a bicycle repair book that is a fine example of the English language at work:

"Take your hammer, your big screwdriver, and your knowledge of these tools destructive tendencies, and approach the brake spring from above."

That sentence is simultaneously tongue-in-cheek, descriptive, and informative, something that very few sentences ever achieve.

Ira has a new hobby:  trashing his house.  We got some really nice weather earlier this week with temperatures in the low eighties, so we took him outside for some playtime.  He enjoyed exploring the front lawn and nibbling on the tender grass shoots.  However, Tuesday, Wednesday, and today have been cold and wet.  Less than ideal tortoise weather.  However, Ira's grasp of time and weather, and the interaction of the two, is limited at best.  So, for the past couple of days, as soon as he finishes his breakfast, he starts stomping around his house, trying to climb the walls in an attempt to get our attention and be freed outdoors.  We tried explaining that this was not possible, knowing our explanations were falling on deaf reptile ears.  So, every morning now, I wake up, get out of bed, shave, shower, dress, and then proceed to rebuild the tortoise habitat so that he can thrash it again.  While all of this is going on, he's stomping around his house, scratching on the walls because his food wasn't ready on his plate when he woke up.  Ira is the caged dictator of our house in his little mind.

The book I'm carrying around in my bag at the moment: Room 3603 by H. Montgomery Hyde.  It's a non-fiction book detailing the British counter-intelligence, espionage, and propaganda operation headquartered in New York City during World War II.  These operations included all sorts of underhanded activities including late-night break-ins, wiretaps, seduction by agents of the opposite sex, payoffs, leaks to the press, and all manner of un-gentlemanly activities.  It is an interesting read, especially because Hoover's FBI was completely in bed with this British operation at the time in history.

Yesterday, I took the winter tires off my bike and installed the spring/summer/fall tires.  Today, we will get somewhere between 2-6 inches of snow, according to the forecast.  Tomorrow, we will get additional accumulations thanks to more light snow.  Wednesday, the high temperature will be in the thirties.  Thursday, we'll get temperatures in the forties.  Of course, the weather forecast for the community in which we used to live in California is for sunny skies and seventy degrees.  The forecast for tomorrow is for mostly sunny skies and seventy degrees.  The forecast for Wednesday and the rest of the week is for party cloudy skies and seventy degrees.  And people wonder why I really don't like April in Wisconsin?

Why so-called enhanced waters (those with vitamins, caffeine, sugar, and whatnot) are selling so well:

"These waters are marketed to the vulnerable, the naive, the great mass of the population that lives with certain anxieties, a certain lack of confidence, a certain set of dreams and ideals that (if they just drink this) they can be healthy or Arnold Schwarzenegger or Dubya — that this will enhance their lives"

The newspapers in Madison could use a few proofreaders.  The Wisconsin Daily Journal endorsed a candidate in the last election named Pat Roggensack.  Of course, in the large, bold headline, the paper endorsed "Part Roggensack."  The Capital Times has trouble with homonyms (words that are pronounced the same but have different meanings).  A recent editorial discussing the Madison mayoral race used "road" instead of "rode."  The Badger Herald is notorious, in our house at least, for its ruthless, unrelenting torture of the English language and its rather casual method of reporting.  Not only do sentences in the Badger Herald often run long, but they often run nowhere.  Nouns often have trouble pairing up with verbs because the verbs are often conjugated incorrectly.  Facts in the Badger Herald are often lacking or distorted.  All of this leads to either entertaining or frustrating (depending one's point of view) newspaper consumption.

Pictures from our trip to Brasil last month are now on-line.

United Airlines published fares to Sao Paulo yesterday that were really low.  Sarah and I could have flown from Madison to Sao Paulo and back for a combined sum less than US$1000.00.  Of course, we'd miss eight days of work and school, but would those eight days of work and school really important in the final accounting of life?

Yesterday was really nice in Madison.  Gentle breeze out of the southwest, temperatures in the low seventies, and sun.  It is really difficult to work indoors on a day like that.  Those of us who commute on bicycles get to enjoy the day even more than those who drive around in their cars.  I was waiting at a stoplight yesterday when a woman pulled up next to me with all her car windows up and the air conditioner in her car running.  Sad…