UPS, the Epic Saga of What Should Have Been a Routine Package DeliveryContinues: Well, it appears that UPS managed to deliver one of ourthree packages to Sarah's work today. We can't confirm that becausethe reception desk didn't tell her that any packages arrived for her (theyusually do), but the UPS web site indicates that a package from her parentswas duly received by someone with a name that would normally work the reception desk. Of course, this means that we still have two more packages to get out ofUPS' moronic clutches. Apparently my half-hour call with them theother night was a complete waste of time. Rather than redirect allthree packages to Sarah's work, UPS managed to redirect only one package toSarah's office. The other two packages are scheduled to be delivered to ourhouse today. Guess what. We won't be there. So, we'll geta notice on our door saying "We tried ever so diligently to deliverthese packages but you weren't home." We are going to the SF Operatonight. That means we won't get home until at least 10 PM PST. UPS, which is only open hours that are convenient for the elderly and theunemployed, has their call center shutdown at 7 PM PST. That meansthat we'll have to call UPS on Friday to get our packages redirected, again,hopefully, to Sarah's office. This means that we will get the packagesat the absolute earliest on Monday, 10 Dec 01, a full two weeks after theywere shipped. However, this is UPS, so it's entirely possible thatthey will invent some new excuse for non-delivery that once again stretchesthe bounds of logic and common sense.

A close examination of the UPS tracking log for our packages reveals justhow much the UPS delivery driver sabotaged this whole process.

Status: Exception Rescheduled Delivery: Dec 6, 2001 Shipped to: ALAMEDA, CA, US Shipped or Billed on: Nov 25, 2001 Tracking Number: 1Z xx xxx xx xxxx xxx x Service Type: GROUND Weight: 5.00 Lbs PACKAGE PROGRESS Date Time Location Activity Dec 5, 2001 6:37 A.

  1. OAKLAND-OAKLAND, CA, US APARTMENT NUMBER NEEDED, NOT DELIVERED;ADDRESS CORRECTED, DELIVERY RESCHEDULED Nov 29, 2001 8:48 P.

  2. OAKLAND-OAKLAND, CA, US APARTMENT NUMBER NEEDED, NOT DELIVERED;POSTCARD HAS BEEN SENT 8:47 P.

  3. OAKLAND-OAKLAND, CA, US APARTMENT NUMBER NEEDED, NOT DELIVERED 7:31 P.

  4. OAKLAND-OAKLAND, CA, US RECEIVER REQUEST PACKAGE HELD FOR PICKUP 4:36 P.

  5. OAKLAND-OAKLAND, CA, US UPS INTERNAL ACTIVITY CODE 4:36 P.

  6. OAKLAND-OAKLAND, CA, US DELIVERY 1:12 A.

  7. OAKLAND HUB, CA, US OUT FOR DELIVERY 12:59 A.

  8. OAKLAND HUB, CA, US UNLOAD SCAN Nov 28, 2001 6:29 P.

  9. OAKLAND HUB, CA, US ARRIVAL SCAN Nov 27, 2001 8:46 P.

  10. LA-GRANDE VISTA, CA, US DEPARTURE SCAN 9:24 A.

  11. LA-GRANDE VISTA, CA, US ORIGIN SCANNov 25, 2001 10:54 A.

  12. US BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED Look at the lines I have underlined. The line time-stamped 7:31 PMindicates that either Sarah or I called to have the package held at the UPSdepot in Oakland for pickup. Three fallacies behind this:1. The UPS facility in Oakland is open from 1 PM PST to 6 PM PST. Since both of us work, it would take a supernatural act of being in twoplaces at once to pick up a package once it was held at UPS' facility inOakland. As such, we would never ask UPS to do such a thing.

  13. Why would the driver so suddenly be informed that we want to have thepackage held? He would be told this once he was already back at thedepot not in the middle of his route.
  14. How could we ask for a package to be held that we didn't even knowexisted? Were we calling backwards in time from some point in thefuture where we had knowledge of the package's existence and tracking numberjust to sabotage our past selves in some sort of sado-masochistic timetwist? That hardly seems likely. Now look at the line timestamped 8:47 PM. If our package was indeedheading for the UPS facility, why would the driver care if he needed anapartment number? That makes no sense at all. What's more likelyis that the driver just needed an excuse to end his run early and startedusing up some of the more obscure non-delivery codes in his littlecomputer. Finally, look at the line timestamped 9:24 AM. Thispackage is coming from Los Angeles. The location from whence thepackage came is approximately 371 miles from our house. To get thepackage to our house in 14 days, you'd have to average 26.5 miles per day,or a little over one mile an hour. Consider that the average person,on flat land, averages three miles per hour while walking. That meansthat if someone had taken this package and started walking north from LAwith it, and walked only nine hours per day, they could deliver the package in thesame time as UPS who has entire fleets of trucks, planes, forklifts,computers, and personnel at their disposal. And people wonder why Ilook down on UPS with such contempt?

Ira the tortoise seems to be coming around a bit. Decreasing theoverall temperature in his pen seems to have made him a bit morelively. Last night he also ate a healthy bit of salad greens from hissalad plate. When I got home from work he was happily munching on somegreens, but soon after he saw me he retreated back into his log. Ithink it's going to take some time until he's used to having peoplearound.google_ad_client = "pub-9050559929403028";google_ad_width = 728;google_ad_height = 90;google_ad_format = "728x90_as";google_ad_type = "text_image";google_ad_channel ="";google_color_border = ["FDFFCA","CC99CC"];google_color_bg = ["FDFFCA","E7C6E8"];google_color_link = ["0000CC","000000"];google_color_url = ["008000","00008B"];google_color_text = ["000000","663366"];