It is often interesting to read more than one newspaper. For instance,the Sports headline in the SF Chronicle on Saturday was “A’s, GiantsBust Out.” The San Jose Mercury News sports section led with”A’s, Giants Hang On.” Which was it? In reality, thegames featured plenty of offense by the A’s and Giants with poor pitching byboth teams that just managed to hold on for the win. Today’s SFChronicle has a front-page article which details strong support for Congressman Conditin “Condit Country” (his home district). The AlamedaTimes-Star (the Oakland Tribune with the title changed and a few differentarticles) ran a front-page article detailing how support for Condit iswaning in “Condit Country.”We got the first sweet corn out of our garden today and had it fordinner. We had to check with Sarah’s brother to find out when it wasready for picking. Neither of us had grown corn before so we didn’tknow for which signs we should be looking. One of the ears we pickedwas a white and yellow kernel mix. The other ear was a straight whitemixture. Both were really tasty. There are certain foods that were never meant to be incorporated intobread. Celery, beets, green beans, rutabagas. These foods wouldadd nothing to the flavor of a good loaf and bread, and in most cases wouldactually make the bread taste worse by their addition. Why then, dopeople insist on making bread that contains zucchini? How on earthcould bread have possibly wronged to many people that they want to punishbread by baking it with zucchini? Don’t get me wrong, I actually likezucchini. In the proper doses, with the proper preparation, zucchini istasty and good to eat. Zucchini does not belong in bread. Ourlone zucchini plant has produced several zucchini of epic size. Thezucchini currently resting on our kitchen table is fifteen and one-halfinches long with a circumference of over ten inches. When Sarah and Iwere discussing the best way to use this much zucchini, she suggested makingzucchini bread. My first thought was, “The zucchini have gotten toher, too!” There is a massive, worldwide, zucchini conspiracy(hatched and run by a shadowy Zucchini Counsel) whereby the zucchini of theworld are plotting to get themselves integrated into more and more foods,thereby making themselves a more important ingredient in our kitchen, andthereby insuring their survival as a race through extensive plantingby humans. The massive zucchini infestation of food has to be stoppedand I’m drawing a line in the sand at bread. Never more shall breadinfested with zucchini pass my lips. I may eat zucchini in Asian andItalian foods. Zucchini on salads will pass inspection. Zucchiniin my bread, however, is an abomination and I will not passively sit by andlet zucchini plot to rule the world.